Vegetas Escapades
by Supersaiyaninfinitygohan
Summary: The prince of all Saiyans is the proudest being in the universe, at least he was until this fic...
1. Learning about appliances

**A/N: Yay! My first fic! This is how I want it to work, once a week I look at reviews and choose a situation for Vegeta to be in, provided by a reviewer . This is just a pilot so you can get an idea of what it will be like, I will put in my own situations from time to time. You can also PM me with your ideas and they can be about other characters and I'll find a way put Vegeta in.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z or Dragon Ball GT  
**

* * *

Chapter 1:

Learning about appliances.

Set during: Three year training period in Trunks saga.

Location: Capsule Corporation headquarters.

It was late afternoon and the prince of all Saiyans was lying down on the couch of the main living room in the guest house after a rather strenuous training session in the gravity room. The guest house itself was larger than regular houses in the city, being able to house five to six people, and the prince had it all to himself. No one in the Briefs family dare disturb him except for Bulma to 'politely' ask him to leave or at least stop destroying her father's inventions and then 'ask' him to make more training droids, besides this the prince was left alone, having solitude, a fully stocked fridge (which was somehow magically restocked at night), and more amenities than what was necessary he had nothing to complain about, that was, until today…

The sound of the door opening caused the prince to open his eyes and look at the person he was about to blast into oblivion for disturbing his sleep when he saw the last person he expected, "Kakkarot! What are you doing here?" asked Vegeta jumping off the couch and pointing his finger at the 'intruder'.

Goku -wearing his usual orange gi and dark blue undershirt- simply stood there, two large suitcases in hand, staring at Vegeta with a confused look on his face, "I thought you said you told him Bulma?"

One by one Gohan -wearing his clothes from the tip on Namek, (although at this point they were a tad small for him), also carrying a suitcase-, Chi-chi -wearing a purple dress- and Bulma -wearing a green T-shirt and black jeans- stepped through the doorway.

"I did tell him Goku but whether or not he got it through his thick skull is a different question." Said Bulma crossing her arms and staring at Vegeta.

"What are you blathering about woman?" Said Vegeta raising an eyebrow

Bulma grunted and started rubbing her temples with her fingers, "For the last time, we are having a get together for the next three days. Gohan, Goku, Piccolo and Chi-chi are staying in the guesthouse while Krillin, Yamcha, Tien and Chiaoutzu are staying in the main house. Again, I am offering you the chance to come and join us in the main house to prevent a World War 3 scenario between you and him." Said Bulma pointing a finger at Goku who responded by grinning sheepishly and scratching the back of his head.

"As if I'd give up this place because of Kakkarot and his family and some overgrown vegetable with the social skills of a door." Vegeta said crossing his arms and glaring at them.

"Suit yourself, it will make this visit very interesting." Came a gruff voice from the windowsill at the end of the hallway, along which the doors to the various rooms were placed.

"Piccolo!" Came the cheery voice of the six year old* running to see his mentor.

At this point Piccolo -wearing his usual attire- climbed off the ledge and started ruffling Gohan's hair with a small smile on his face. "How ya doin kid? Where are all the books you're always carrying around?" At this point, stopping with the ruffling of Gohan's hair.

"Mom said if I got 100% for my last test I could take this weekend off, so I studied real hard." Said Gohan with a broad smile on his face.

Bulma then turned to Chi-chi with a surprised look on her face, "He got 100% for one of _your_ tests?"

"Hey, what can I say? He's a really bright boy."

"That's the understatement of the century." Said Bulma rolling her eyes.

"Hey Bulma which room is mine?" Came the voice of the young demi-saiyan down the hall.

"Yours is at the end, Piccolo's is on the opposite side, your parents are next to you and the bathroom is next to Vegeta's room."

"Thanks!" With that Gohan and Piccolo entered their own rooms, with Gohan unpacking and Piccolo doing who knows what.

"Well, we better get started on the food before the others get here, come on Bulma." With a nod as a reply both ladies left the room leaving the last pure blooded Saiyains in known existence in the room alone, Vegeta smiling as he looked at Goku who had a frown on his face while walking slowly to his designated room with the two suitcases in hand, Vegeta speaking just as Goku past him, not even turning when he spoke,

"Pack mule."

"Jerk."

* * *

**The television**

The sun was now setting making the world seem orange in colour, the prince of all Saiyans again lying peacefully on the couch in a deep sleep, until he was yet again disturbed…

"Umm, Vegeta?"

"What is it boy?" Asked Vegeta groggily without opening his eyes

Gohan could tell he had angered the prince so he put on the cutest face and most pleading voice he could muster, "Well right now Mr. Piccolo and dad are training, the others don't want to train right now so I have nothing to do while I wait my turn except…" Gohan then turned to the large T.V. on its stand with a longing look in his eyes.

"Except stare at that useless blank screen all day?" Asked Vegeta finally opening his eyes. "Sure, knock yourself out." With that he closed his eyes again and tried to get some more sleep.

"Thanks." And then Vegeta heard strange voices coming from somewhere in the room. This time he sat up and saw Gohan on the floor looking at the once blank screen now with moving pictures of two people on it talking to each other, followed by some annoying laughter coming from an unseen audience and Gohan saying "I don't get it."

"How did you do that?" Asked Vegeta astounded.

"Do what?" Gohan asked turning around to face Vegeta.

"Don't play dumb with me brat, how did you get those people so small and then put them in there?" Asked Vegeta pointing at the T.V.

"Oh, they must not have T.V. in space, well those people haven't been shrunk, it's a signal coming from a T.V. station, going to a satellite in space which broadcasts it here for us to watch. And this…," Gohan said lifting up the remote for Vegeta to see, "…allows me to control what I watch and how loud it is."

"Amazing…"

"Hey Gohan, its your turn!"

"Coming Krillin!" Shouted Gohan as he tossed the remote to Vegeta, but as he reached the door he quickly turned around and said, "Don't watch for too long or else your eyes will burn."

And with that he flew into the sky, gave a bow and started sparring with his father.

"I wonder…"

An hour had passed since the spar began and by now both combatants were full of bruises.

"Haha.." A small chuckle escaped Krillin's lips.

"What's so funny?" Asked Yamcha looking at Krillin.

Krillin responded without even turning his head from the fight being had in the sky, "I just realized that after twenty years of extreme training, the world's strongest man is surpassed by his son when he gets just a little angry and is now making us all look like a bunch of wimps."

"Hey I guess you're right." Said Yamcha with a small smile.

"You know what else is funny?" Krillen was about to answer his own rhetorical question but was cut off by a loud "NOOOOOOO!" coming from the guest house.

All the Z-Fighters sprang into action, quickly entering the house and got into fighting poses (with Chi-chi holding a gigantic frying-pan and Bulma a baseball bat), who all saw Vegeta with a shocked expression on his face staring at the T.V. while standing on the couch. Goku was the first to speak in a very serious tone of voice, "What's wrong?"

"Serra just kissed Fernando, who is actually Fredrick in disguise because he forgot who he was after bumping his head at the hospital, where Bernice had just found out her ex-boyfriend Shaun had a brain operation which had complications, and now he can only speak Spanish!" After this the prince, who was very much out of breath, watched as confused expressions went across the faces of the Z-Fighters. Gohan was the first to break the silence by falling down laughing and clutching his stomach.

"Err, Vegeta you know those are just stories, right?" Asked Goku while giggling slightly.

Vegeta's face went red and he quickly composed himself, "Of course you oaf! Now then, weren't you training and is that something burning?"

"Our spar! I forgot! Come on Gohan." Goku then bent down and picked up the still laughing Gohan.

"The food! I forgot! Come on Bulma!" Both women then ran out of the room, followed by the rest of the group (apart from Piccolo) who had smiles on their faces.

Piccolo then walked up to Vegeta, bent down and whispered, "Is that the whole story?"

5 hours later

Gohan was getting a drink of water in the middle of the night, on his way back to his room he heard strange noises from the living room and looked inside, there he saw Vegeta and Piccolo on the couch watching the credits of a show while sad music played.

"That, was so beautiful." Said Piccolo in a high-pitched voice while wiping a tear from his eye. Vegeta responded by nodding his head and blowing his nose with a tissue.

Gohan quickly ran back to his room, stuffed his face into his pillow and laughed so hard the entire bed shook.

* * *

**The microwave**

It was early morning and Gohan was the first up. He walked to the kitchen while yawning and scratching the back of his head, he was wearing a large, grey tank top and blue boxers as pyjamas. The kitchen was just behind the living room so he got a view of Piccolo and Vegeta on the couch, leaning against one another while they slept.

This made a small smile come onto Gohan's mouth as he watched the two sleep for a short while then he went to the kitchen to get the needed supplies for his morning meal.

The sound of Gohan opening the cupboard to get some cereal awoke the two warriors from their slumber. They quickly looked at each other and Vegeta said, "Last night will _never _be discussed."

"Agreed." Piccolo said with a nod.

"I won't tell anyone if you two don't." Said Gohan while mixing the powder, milk and sugar to make his lumpy breakfast.

"What?" Came the collective voices of the two warriors with now red faces.

"Hey, I didn't see anything." He said teasingly.

"Uhm, hurry up so we can spar, I want to see how well your training has paid off." Said Piccolo trying to change the subject.

"In a minute Mr. Piccolo, I wanna eat some breakfast first." Whined Gohan as he put his mixture in the wall microwave. He then pushed some buttons and a minute later there was a 'ding' sound and he opened the microwave to retrieve his now steaming food.

Vegeta had watched this with intrigue and walked up to Gohan who had just finished blowing on his spoon to cool down its contents.

"What is that?"

"Oatmeal, here try some." Said Gohan extending the spoon to Vegeta, who grabbed it, looked at the yellow, lumpy porridge and ate it.

His eyes jumped open as a delicious new sweet and wheaty taste entered his mouth.

"Absolutely delicious! I must have more!" He shouted. But as the spoon was about to be filled once again, it was grabbed by a small hand.

This was followed by a, "Hey!" Gohan then afterimaged to the other side of the kitchen and shouted, "Get your own!" while cradling the bowl protectively.

"Stupid, brat. I'll show him." Vegeta muttered as he walked over to where the various ingredients for his recently denied meal still lay. By some miracle he managed to get the proportions and order of the ingredients right, he then walked over to the microwave with his bowl (where the door was still open), put in his concoction, closed the door and again, another miracle occurred and he pushed the correct sequence of buttons, a minute later another 'ding' was heard, this is where the prince's luck ran out.

"Come on Gohan, lets go." Said Piccolo in a demanding voice seeing that Gohan had finished his meal.

"One second Piccolo, I wanna see this." Whispered Gohan while looking at Vegeta.

For a few seconds Vegeta stared at the microwave expectantly, arms crossed before he finally said, "Well, give it up."

Nothing

"Come on, come out. I won't hurt you." Vegeta said in the sweetest voice he could muster… to no avail.

"You are trying my patience machine." This time narrowing his eyes.

Nothing.

"Relinquish my meal at once you poor excuse for a fire!"He said with energy ball in hand.

No response whatsoever.

"That's it!"

At that moment Goku (wearing an outfit similar to Gohan's) sleepily walked into the living room. What he saw next was certainly not in the top ten list of things a person would expect to see in the morning: A small boy on rolling on the floor laughing, a Namekian with an impatient look on his face and a flame haired lunatic with a purple aura around him, shaking a microwave up and down.

"I have got to stop training so much, I think the exhaustion is getting to me."

* * *

**The oven**

It was late evening and everyone was gathered in the guesthouse (much to the annoyance of a certain Saiyan). Bulma and Chi-chi were again on cooking duty, Piccolo was in a corner meditating, the various men (apart from Vegeta who was merely walking around, being moody) were reminiscing about old adventures and Gohan, Puar and Oolong (who had only arrived that afternoon) and Chiaoutzu were watching cartoons.

Vegeta had grown tired of walking around and decided to stand in the kitchen so as to have access to the food first. He leaned on what he thought was the counter but was actually one of the very hot plates of the, well you know.

Vegeta sniffed the air. "Is there something burning?"

Chiaoutzu turned around, saw Vegeta's hand and said, "Umm, Vegeta…" But a hand was put on Chiaoutzu's mouth before he could finish. This hand belonged to Gohan who merely said, "Just watch."

Vegeta raised his eyebrow and was about to speak before yelped in pain, ripped his hand from the stove and started to blow on it, all eyes were now fixed on Vegeta.

"That's it! All these machines are conspiring against me! First the T.V. makes me look like a fool, then the microwave steals my food, then the toaster throws hot bread at my face when I want to see how far it is to being done, then the blender tries to eat me when I want to get my fruit back and now this thing bit me!" He said pointing to the oven.

"Well I'm on to you." He said leaning in closer. "Who do you work for? Is it Freeza? No! It must be Cooler! Darn it! Answer me you bucket of bolts!"

All eyes were still on Vegeta, no one dared to make a sound.

"Fine then! Have it your way!" Vegeta stepped back, got into a stance put his hands behind his back on his right side and began his chant, "Galick! Gu.."

"Err… Vegeta, the plate was just hot, it didn't bite you, you just kept your hand there for too long ." Said Chi-chi, the only one brave enough to point out the obvious .

Vegeta's face went bright red, "I shall be consuming my meal in my quarters." He said quickly as he left the room and slammed his door when he entered his own. This was of course followed by another laughing fit, courtesy of Gohan yet again.

* * *

**The Shower **

(**A/N yes, yes. I know it isn't really an appliance but I just had to use it for this part**)

The last day of the visit had come and most of the Z-Fighters were either training or relaxing, except for one that is…

"Boy! Get in here!" Hollered Vegeta from the bathroom.

"What?"Asked Gohan as he casually strode in.

"Bulma wants me to 'take a shower', is this the device in question?" He asked pointing.

"Yup."

"How does it work?"

"Simple, you turn the blue handle for cold water and the red handle for hot, use the white thing over there by rubbing it over your body to get clean after your wet and then rinse yourself off. After that wet your hair, put the goo in that blue bottle on it and rinse it off. Just be sure to close the door and then take off your clothes before you get in."

"Hmm… it sounds simple but, I require a demonstration."

"A what?" Gohan asked looking up with Vegeta looking down on him. "Vegeta, I don't like where this is going."

Meanwhile in the living room, Goku and Chi-chi sat on a love seat snuggling while Bulma sat on the single-seater opposite.

"So, you guys planning on having anymore kids?" Bulma asked trying to start a conversation.

Goku was the first to speak up, "Well actually…"

"Get away from me Vegeta!"

"Get back here this instant you twerp!"

"You'll have to catch me first!" And with that Gohan sped down the hallway, and through the kitchen door (which was luckily open).

Vegeta flew into the living room and growled. He then saw the three people behind him and got an idea.

He stopped flying and turned around. "Miss Briefs, I was just wandering if you would show me how to cleanse myself in a shower."

Bulma blushed and smiled a little bit, "That's sweet of you to ask Vegeta, but I don't think it would be appropriate."

Vegeta shrugged and said, "Oh well, how about you Chi-…" The next thing Vegeta knew a Super Saiyan's fist had knocked him through the kitchen wall.

"I may be naïve, but that is just perverted you pig!" Yelled Goku at Vegeta's now unconscious body.

"Hmmm…. If Vegeta gets up tell him I've changed my mind and would be glad to give him his first lesson in proper hygiene." Said Bulma as she ran off to get the necessary supplies for the lessons leaving a confused (and slightly flattered) Chi-chi to calm down her husband.

The only thing that went through Vegeta's mind at that moment was, 'At least I took that oven with me.'

**A/N So what did you think? Please review and thanks for reading!**

***(****I think he's six but the dubs and timelines have me confused**)  



	2. Vegeta the Handyman

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z or Dragon Ball GT or any songs mentioned.**

**Claimer: I own this plot.**

**Chapter 2**

**Vegeta the Handyman.**

**Set during: Time between Cell Saga and Buu Saga**

**Location: Capsule Corp**

It was early morning as Vegeta walked through the halls of the building that was the central hub of Capsule Corp. A jump in his step as he went along listening to music on his new Z-Pod. The prince hummed to himself as he enjoyed the gift Bulma had given him.

"Ah… I love Katy Perry. But she only comes after that Justin person. Hmm… what was it? Justin Barber? No. Justin Beaver? Oh wait it's…" The Saiyan's declaration was stopped as the earphones were removed from his… ears and he felt the pod itself being taken out of his pocket.

The short-tempered prince turned around to see his mate holding his favourite new piece of technology, "What is the meaning of this woman?" Vegeta yelled as he glared at Bulma who returned his glare and shoved a piece of paper into his hands.

Vegeta looked at the paper, confirming it was a list of chores. Before Vegeta could ask, Bulma gave the answer as she put her hands on her hips, "All the maids, butlers and gardeners were scared away because of you. I know I can't force the father of my child out, but I can take away his toy." Bulma then held up the Z-Pod triumphantly.

"You set me up." Vegeta said angrily and Bulma smirked.

"That I did. Now, finish all your chores, and you get it back. Do nothing, and I'll tell my dad to stop fixing the gravity chamber when you break it again."

Vegeta growled and then sighed in defeat as Bulma walked away.

'Might as well get this over with.' The prince thought as he studied the page.

**The Lawnmower of Doom.**

"Let's see here. 1: Mow lawn." Vegeta stood in the small front yard of the corporation building and looked over the green plant species as he formed a strategy to cut the grass the quickest.

Vegeta then turned his attention to the red tool next to him and smirked, "A machine that decapitates and stores the heads in a bag? Now we're talking."

The prince made his way to the mower and gripped the handlebar gently and looked at the various speeds available. There were symbols for a snail, tortoise and rabbit.

"Hmm… this unshelled creature seems to be slow. Let's start off with you and work up from there." The Saiyan moved the red triangle to under the rabbit and pushed the ignition button.

Now see, Bulma had anticipated Vegeta's impatience and had planned ahead by giving the lawnmower both a speed and power boost.

But Vegeta had not anticipated Bulma's anticipation, and the mower took off at unfathomable speeds, dragging the prince with it as it swerved around slicing up weeds and grass as it went about.

Vegeta screamed in terror as his body flailed in the air and it started to make a pattern in the ground, slowly yet surely cutting the grass.

Once the foliage was done being decapitated, Vegeta's digestive system gave out and his face turned as green as the freshly cut grass. Vegeta released the mower to put his hands over his mouth.

Said mower then broke supersonic speed, leaving boom and the sound of the next door neighbour yelling, "My leg! Oh sweet mercy my leg!"

Vegeta slowly got up, clutching his head, looked at the list again and took out a pencil to mark off his chore, "1: Mow grass. Check. 2: Ruin… Mr. Robinson's day?" Vegeta looked up and saw an ambulance coming to the neighbours home. The prince merely shrugged, "Check. 3: Vacuum living room."

**A slight discomfort.**

The prince stood next to the round tub with a hose sticking out of it and then moved to plug in its cord as he grumbled various colourful words about how things would be done back on Planet Vegeta.

When he activated the machine he was greeted by the whirring sound we all know well.

Vegeta sought to test the power of this machine by putting his hand over the nozzle, "Oh please! My own son could suck in deeper than this!" Vegeta then moved the nozzle to his face and looked inside, "Where does this all go anyway?"

The vacuum decided to answer his question by latching onto his eye. The prince uttered various curse words as he hobbled backwards and tripped over a couch.

The nozzle came loose, but Vegeta soon wished it hadn't as his foot hit the high setting on the vacuum cleaner and the nozzle head landed, and latched onto, the princes' favourite body part in between his legs.

Vegeta yelled and squirmed as he writhed in pain and tried to remove the hose from his… special area. By luck, Vegeta had moved the vacuum with him and had pulled the cord out of the socket.

The Saiyan, still on the floor and clutching his special area, moved his hands to his pockets to retrieve the list and pencil and said, in a slightly higher voice, as he marked off his third chore, "Check."

**Revenge.**

After an icepack and refreshing drink, Vegeta moved onto his final chore: Repair the guest room oven.

The prince smirked evilly at the appliance before him, "So we meet again." Vegeta said as he stared it down.

The oven gave no reply.

"Oh sure. Act dumb, but know this: I am onto you and your friends. You should also know that I am no longer a guest here. This is now my home too, which means I get to have some fun with you."

If the appliance could sweatdrop, it would. But instead it stayed stationery as always.

The new handyman of the house retrieved a screwdriver from his belt and walked towards the oven.

The prince ripped off the oven door like it was tinfoil and smirked while saying, "Oops. My bad, guess I'll have to _fix _that as well."

The Saiyan then put his head in the oven and looked around. He could hear a faint noise and smell a strange odour.

"That's the problem." Vegeta declared, his voice sounding metallic from being inside the appliance, "Darn it! I can't see a thing! Let me light a match…"

Bulma lied down on the couch, reading a magazine and listening to music on Vegeta's Z-Pod, when she felt the Pod being removed from her possession.

She looked up to see Vegeta, covered in soot, his gi with burn marks, a small flame on one of his hairs and a scowl on his face, "Not one word woman."

Bulma merely smirked and returned to her magazine.

The prince then put the earphones on and heard the lyrics to the song Bulma had been listening to, _"I set fire… to the rain." _Vegeta then threw the Z-Pod on the ground and angrily stomped on it a few times.

As Vegeta walked away, he said, "I never was one for music any way."

**A/N: Yes I know it was short, but I'll try and make it longer and funnier if more people give me suggestions cause this one was all me.**

**Anywho, please review!**


	3. Vegeta vs Cooking

**A/N: And here comes chapter 3! This little one was a request from Lycos Tamer.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z or Dragon Ball GT.**

**Claimer: I own this plot, Lycos can have the idea if she wants.**

**Chapter 3**

**Vegeta vs. Cooking**

**Location: Capsule Corp Headquarters**

**Time period: Ten days till the Cell Games.**

Most were in a panic. The terrible monster known as Cell had announced that he would soon destroy the world if he was not given an opponent that could best him in combat, spreading fear throughout the world in general.

While some took to bunkers and barracks others took to... kitchens?

Yes, it was true that the powerful businesswoman known as Bulma Briefs did not care much for this tournament, believing all would turn out well and thus decided to live life as if nothing had changed, this included the way she treated her husband.

"What?" The prince yelled in his pyjamas, somewhat worried of the day to come.

"You heard me Vegeta." His chosen mate said from the bathroom, as she took off her makeup, "Tomorrow, I'm heading out of town to get some specific supplies, so you have to make your own food tomorrow."

"But I am a prince! Royalty! I refuse to make my own food! I deserve to be waited on hand and foot!" Said prince argued.

"Fine then." Bulma shrugged as she entered the room in her orange nightgown, "You can starve until I come home."

"Fine! I will!" The Saiyan declared defiantly as he crossed his arms.

"Oh, and one last thing: Gohan will be here from one tomorrow." Bulma said as she climbed into the bed.

"And why is that brat coming here?" Vegeta asked as he did the same.

"Well, before the Cell Games, Goku and Chi-chi want to have some... alone time that he can't be there for."** (A/N: Goten had to come from somewhere and I wasn't gonna have Gohan there)**

"Pfft. Back on my planet..."

"Back on your planet, somebody cared. Goodnight Vegeta." And with that, Bulma turned off the lights, and closed her eyes, unaware that a certain Saiyan was resisting the urge to throttle her.

**Breakfast**

It was true, Bulma had left the house for the day, leaving Vegeta alone until the clock would strike one. For this reason, Vegeta decided to get his first meal done and over with.

According to his mate, they no longer had any oatmeal, so Vegeta was left with another array of cereals to choose from.

The prince had lined up his five options on the counter and opened them one by one to view their contents, as he could not read Earth language very well.

"Let's see here..." Vegeta looked at the first box, "Flaked Bran." The prince looked inside, "Hmm... a box of dead leaves. Charming." The box was put down, "Chocolate Pellets... what are those? They look like animal droppings! Crunch Captain. They actually crunched up a captain, and plan to serve him as a meal? Perhaps I have underestimated the cruelty of humans. Loops o' Fruit?" Vegeta pondered this for a moment, "Perhaps not. Fruit gives me gas. Well, it looks like it's down to you my friend. If you value your existence, you will give me what I want." The hungry prince lifted the blue box and slowly read the name, "Crisp... Ricies. Hmm... I could go for some rice."

The female billionaire had somehow known her mate would choose this box, and had left some instructions on a note which Vegeta read out loud, "Step...1: Open... box. Step 2: Pour in bowl. Not going to happen woman, what's next? Step 3: Pour... in... milk. For that I'll either need a cow or a pregnant woman, oh wait, there's more (milk in fridge)."Vegeta, after retrieving the milk, poured the white liquid into the box he was clutching and then read the last two instructions.

"Step 4: Put... bowl in... microwave. Pfft. Sorry woman, but I learnt my lesson the first chapter. Step 5: Eat. Now she's just being stupid."

Vegeta then lifted the top of the box and began to chug down the contents. Once he finished, he felt a new sensation growing on his forehead: the result of drinking an entire box of cold milk. The tingling became a throbbing, and the throbbing became a searing pain so great that Vegeta yelled out in agony and collapsed on the floor. This was Vegeta's first brain freeze.

**Lunch**

The prince of all Saiyans had just completed his regular training session and now felt the need for food. Needless to say, ice-cream was not his first choice. Vegeta entered the kitchen, ready for some grub, and decided to try out a new cooking endeavour: the sandwich.

The prince had gathered a mismatch of ingredients, ranging from a whole turkey to peanut Saiyan was certain he could figure out the complex steps to create his midday meal.

Three minutes later...

A young blonde boy in white clothing rang the doorbell to Capsule Corp, somewhat hoping Vegeta wouldn't answer so that he would not have to spend the day with him.

Unfortunately, a flaming-haired Saiyan with a frying pan in hand did open the door, and I do mean flaming haired. The prince was covered in cuts, bruises, scorch marks and a small flame was still on his hair, which the prince quickly put out with two fingers.

Vegeta glared at Gohan, his eyes daring the boy to make a joke.

"Err... hi?" Said boy somewhat asked, making sure what he had said was acceptable, "Should I come back later?"

"No!" Vegeta asked a little desperately, hand stretched out pleadingly and his stomach wanting a decent meal. The prince quickly straightened up and cleared his throat.

"What I mean is... you know how to make a sandwich, right?"

Gohan nodded slowly, trying not to smile, "Of course. I might not be a gourmet chef, but mom has taught me a few tricks since I came from the chamber."

"In that case, get your half-breed but into the kitchen."

"Why?" Gohan asked folding his arms.

"Do you value your life?" The prince asked, moving the pan in a threatening motion.

"Pfft! Like you'd kill me."

Darn it! The boy had called his bluff, "I'll pay you."

Gohan pushed pass the prince, "Do you want chicken, turkey or bacon?"

Vegeta smirked as he was about to finally get a meal, but his smile dropped when he saw the child heading for the kitchen. The prince immediately teleported in front of Gohan and pushed against the door with all his might, a purple tentacle visibly trying to get out.

"What's up Vegeta?" Gohan asked, oblivious to the tentacle.

Vegeta looked off into the distance, "I've seen things in there, horrible things. Things that not even Freeza should see as a punishment..."

"O... kay..."

Fortunately, the building had many kitchens, this Gohan took full advantage of as he had made the prince a _snack _of a twenty layered BLT.

"So... what now?" Gohan asked as he leaned on the counter.

"Now, I digest this and in twenty minutes, you should see something really spectacular." The prince answered sarcastically.

"Wow, someone is stressed."

"Whatever." Vegeta said as he looked down.

Gohan knew it was a bad idea to ask, if only he didn't, "What's wrong with you."

Vegeta didn't know why he did it, but..., "That woman. She doesn't seem to be pleased by anything I do."

"Well, when my dad does something bad, he usually makes up to my mom by doing something unexpected. A gesture like a homemade dinner or something."

The prince looked at Gohan slyly, "You don't say?"

"No. Deal with your own love life Vegeta." Gohan said defiantly, crossing his arms again.

"I'll double your pay."

"Okay, the first thing you need to do is cook it yourself. I'm thinking... cake is romantic... I guess."

Vegeta groaned, great, more cooking, "Fine, what do I need?"

"First, get some flower."

"From our garden, or is there a specific one?" The prince asked seriously.

Gohan's body slumped and a dark cloud came over his head, "On second thought, let me handle the cooking. You just wear something... I dunno, fancy."

**Dinner**

Bulma was surprised to find her mate in a tuxedo when she returned that night. Even more surprised to find a romantic setup in the dining room. Not wanting to be outclassed, she put on a sparkling red dress.

"Wow! Vegeta, this is wonderful!" She said, looking at the candles and the roses.

"Well, as a prince, I was taught manners you know." Said prince said as he pulled out Bulma's chair for her.

"And that's not the best part." Vegeta said as he sat down as well and snapped his fingers.

Then entered Gohan, also in tuxedo and a look on his face that screamed, "Somebody please shoot me.", pushing a cart with several trays with silver lids on them.

'Maybe if I ask Cell really nicely, he'll _accidently _kill Vegeta.' Thought the 'waiter'.

Once the cart was stopped, Gohan turned to the house's owners and asked in a dull voice, "Will that be all this evening?"

"Yes, you can go now boy." Vegeta responded smiling. Gohan then cleared his throat and held out his hand expectantly.

The prince again groaned and put several hundred Zeni in the boy's hand.

As Gohan walked away triumphantly, Vegeta realised he wasn't sure why he had done all this. He did like his current mate, but was he doing this just to be, dare he say it? Nice?

After all of the meal had been eaten Bulma thanked Vegeta, "Wow Vegeta. That was incredibly nice of you."

The prince smirked on the outside, even though on the inside he was vomiting from all this touchy feely stuff.

"Ahh, but there's one more thing. This, I made all myself." Vegeta declared proudly and lifted the lid to reveal two tall glasses of what appeared to be some scrumptious chocolate milk with a cherry on top. Although it wasn't as grand as the rest of the meal, Bulma still accepted it and understood how much of a compliment this was from Vegeta.

They both took big sips and Bulma was sent into a frenzy of tastes, "Wow Vegeta! This is the best!" She declared and she took another sip.

"Thank you. The brand of chocolate I used was actually in a strange bottle. I think the suppliers are called... what was it? Oh, laxative."

**A/N: And there we have chapter three! Please review!**


	4. Vegeta the prince of all babysitters

**A/N: I'm... back! And not better than ever! I think I'm about the same, but that's for you to judge and for me to celebrate/cry about.**

**This chapter is a request from Pranktical Joker, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z and/or Dragon Ball GT.**

**Claimer: I own this plot and Joker can have the idea if he wants.**

**Chapter 4**

**The Prince of All Babysitters.**

**Time Period: Post Buu Saga**

**Location: Several places.**

"Why me?" The prince yelled at the top of his lungs, most surely disturbing all the neighbours.

"Because Gohan is busy, Goku is sick and Chi-chi is... well I care about her deeply but sometimes she's insane. And with Goku being sick and Gohan's finals coming up, she's at her peek." Said the Saiyan's wife as she got ready to leave for her business trip.

Vegeta crossed his arms in a huff, "Be that as it may, I am far too busy to care for two children. I have some serious training to do you know."

It was true. Ever since Goku had revealed his Super Saiyan three form and Gohan had gotten a humungous power boost, the prince had trained even harder even though that was almost impossible. Then again, Vegeta was never one to follow rules... even if they were the laws of reality.

"Fine then." The female Briefs said as she moved towards the door, "As a reward, I was going to order you a Vegas style buffet, but since you're so busy, I guess I'll just call the caterers and cancel the order."

"Wait!" The prince said almost pleadingly and Bulma stopped in her tracks, "I suppose spending just one day with them won't be too bad."

The corporate leader smirked and yelled to the boys up stairs, "Goten, Trunks: Vegeta will be taking care of you today. Make sure to do everything he says!" Bulma thought about that request for a moment, "Well, anything that doesn't involve death, destruction or maiming! And remember to have fun!"

With that, Bulma was gone and the two boys upstairs reacted to what she had just said: Goten had a frown while Trunks had a smirk on his face.

"Ah man!" Said the Son boy, "Your dad's probably gonna make us do training!"

"Not quite Goten." Said Trunks as he relaxed on his bed, "If I know my dad as well as I think I do, and if I heard what his reward was correctly, we're going to have one of the best days of our lives."

"Trunks, I know that face. You're planning something big aren't you?"

"What if I am?" The Briefs boy asked smirking even more.

"Well then be sure to count me in!"

A short while later, the prince of all Saiyans made his way up to Trunks' room to tell the boys to get into the Gravity Room. Vegeta opened the door to find Goten and Trunks with frowns on their faces and looking lazy.

"So... bored." Moaned Goten.

"Nothing to do."Then complained the eldest of the two.

"And why is this of my concern?" Asked Vegeta rhetorically.

"Well, Bulma said you have to take care of us right?" Asked the still seemingly bored Goten.

"Yes, what of it?"

"Well..." Started Trunks using a monotone voice, "Thanks to our Saiyan hearing, we were able to hear what mom said: that you would get food as a reward if we behaved."

"And?" Vegeta asked intrigued, forgiving the eavesdropping for a moment.

"Well, wouldn't you get a much bigger reward if we said it was the best day ever, or something like that?"

"True. So lie for me."

"Well, Bulma has always been good at finding out lies. Wouldn't it be easier if we just, I don't know... went around the city for a bit?" Asked the raven-haired boy.

Vegeta mulled it over in his head: happier kids = bigger rewards. This much he was certain of, but he felt that the two were planning something, yet decided to agree. There was food at stake here!

"Fine. I'll bite. What do you have in mind?" The prince said as he crossed his arms.

"Well..." Trunks said as he and Goten looked at one another and then pulled out a giant map of the city from seemingly nowhere, with specific pictures highlighting certain places. The Briefs boy then took out a thin metal pointer and used it to show certain places as Goten held up the map.

The demi-Saiyan hit the map as he explained, "First we go to Mondo Magic's giant circus!" The rod hit a picture of a tent, "Then we go and watch 'Brain Eaters From Space 5' In 3-D!" Said boy explained in a spooky voice and Goten made ghost sounds as the metal rod moved over a picture of an alien, "Then we go to the carnival, and finally, Super Cheesy Pizza Planet!"

On the last word, Trunks missed the map and Goten yelled, "My eye!"

Vegeta weighed the options in his head: Being rewarded for quality time with his son, or training his body to death and somewhat beyond. This was a hard choice.

Trunks however, had planned for his father's stubbornness, "Well, I guess we could stay here and train if this day will be too tough for you..." the boy said in a mocking voice as Goten rubbed his eye.

"What?!" The Saiyan yelled, "I am an elite warrior! No task is impossible for me! Now get and dressed and get ready to have fun! Do you understand?"

The two saluted Vegeta and the prince stormed off, getting ready himself.

When the prince left, the diabolical scamps traded smiles and thumbs ups. Meanwhile, in the hallway, Vegeta was bashing his head against the wall, silently chanting, "How. Could. I. Be. So. Stupid."

**That Clown Kakarot...**

The crowds were huge as the three Saiyans made their way through the circus grounds. There were small tents, big tents and tents that resembled Vegeta's hairstyle.

Currently, the three were walking towards the largest tent where the main attractions were being held. As they walked however, Vegeta's eye caught a glimpse of a sign: "Henry Hercules! The Strongest Man Alive!"

"You two boys go ahead. I'll catch up." The prince said with a smirk and made his way to the back of the tent.

A short while later, Vegeta found the boys sitting in the front row as the show was about to begin. The prince sat down, popcorn in hand and grumbling something about his opponent not being able to take the smallest of hits.

Before Trunks could ask where his father had gone off to, the lights dimmed and a corny voice boomed over the speakers, "Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the circus! Please give a rousing round of applause for... the great Trickster Clowns!"

On cue, the lights turned back on and four men somehow all climbed out of a toy car, much too small for them to fit in. This earned a laugh from the crowd, and a snore from Vegeta as he fell asleep.

Goten nearly choked on his popcorn as he had a realisation, "Trunks! Doesn't your dad say my dad is a clown!"

The Briefs boy shrugged, "Yeah. So what?"

Goten beamed, "That means my dad is in there!"

The prince's conscious had recognized the voice and the words "Dad" and "Here" leading to him jumping up and raising his power level.

"Trying to sneak attack me Kakarot? Well take this! Galick Gun... Fire!"

Needless to say... they left the circus quickly and quietly during the panic and confusion.

**A Prince Has No Fear!**

**Yeah right...**

The prince had only been to a cinema once before, and that was to get directions, not watch a movie. For this reason, Vegeta had no idea of the steep prices of snacks (a decent meal costing more than the actual ticket.

"I demand to speak to the man in charge! Now!" The Saiyan yelled at the chubby food attendant who backed away yelling, "Please sir! I'm only sixteen!"

Soon the manger came out and was in the same scared position as the attendant ass Vegeta's head grew in several proportions, and Trunks and Goten looked on as they covered their popcorn in salt.

"Hey Trunks." Asked the Son boy.

"Yeah?"

"Is your dad a psycocopath?"

"A what?" Trunks asked back confused.

"Ya know! Those guys with the funny jackets and stay at the big place so they don't hurt anybody."

"You mean a psychopath?"

Goten nodded and Trunks looked at his father again, seeing him now yelling at a popcorn machine for not all the corns being popped. This led Trunks to putting his hand on his chin in contemplation.

After some more yelling and threatening, the Saiyans made their way to their assigned seats just in time for the movie to begin. The lights dimmed and screaming sounds came on as a generous portion of the audience shuddered and Goten and Trunks ate away at their popcorn as the bloodshed on screen continued.

"This is supposed to frighten small children?" The prince yelled, "It's all just a bunch of squiggly lines!"

Trunks then handed his father a pair of black glasses, that resembled sunglasses, without taking his eyes off the screen. Vegeta looked at the glasses for a moment and then put them on, and his world changed completely.

"What the? What is that? Some kind of organ?" the prince asked as a chainsaw was heard in the background and a girl screamed, "It is an organ! Sweet mercy! Look at all that blood! Why is it green?"

The music then changed as the scene shifted to a man walking towards a door, "No! Don't go in there! Don't go in there!" Vegeta said as he covered his eyes, leaving a small gap in between two fingers.

The man opened the door, and nothing happened. Vegeta and the actor simultaneously sighed in relief. Then a hand came out of nowhere, grabbed the man and Vegeta screamed in an unmorally high pitch.

**Saiyan Stomach of Steel.**

After two hours of screaming and yelling, the movie ended and Vegeta and the boys moved to their next 'fun' place of activity: the carnival.

"That film wasn't that frightening." Said Vegeta as they waited in line for the rollercoaster, "I've seen scarier things in a kitchen." The prince looked at the ground, "Much, much more terrifying things..."

"Sorry sir, but you can't ride." Vegeta's thoughts were interrupted by a cracking, teenage voice and looked up to see a pale carnival attendant.

"And why would that be?"

Said attendant pointed next to Vegeta and the prince turned to see a cardboard cut out of a centipede with his hand in the air saying, "You must be this tall to ride." The prince's skull just below the hand.

Trunks and Goten tried to contain their giggles as they covered their mouths with their hands and Vegeta growled with his hands balled into fists.

"And what is so funny? That means you two definitely won't be able to ride!"

Goten was the one to answer through giggles, "Yeah well, one day we'll be able to, but you'll always be too... short!" The two boys then entered a fit of laughter and the prince had an idea.

Vegeta assumed his legendary form and gained an increase of muscle mass and definition, making the two boys cease their laughter and the attendant just shrugging as Vegeta climbed on and blew the two a raspberry.

Goten looked down dejectedly and Trunks folded his arms and pouted.

The rollercoaster made clinking sounds as it rose and Vegeta leaned back, "Now to sit back and relax... woah!" The prince yelled as he was hit by g-forces at a sudden pace, and due to him being relaxed and not in battle mode, he was rocked about like any other person.

The Saiyan was used to flying in coordinated and sophisticated patterns, even during combat, so the way the cart turned upside down and jiggled about caused a specific reaction in Vegeta's stomach.

The prince put a hand over his mouth as the world whirred around him and his face turned green. The sound of hurling was then heard as Vegeta saw the bright flash of a camera.

When the ride was over, the prince staggered out. His now normal hair swept back as a result of all the wind. Said Saiyan saw Goten and Trunks laughing their heads off at a photo. Vegeta walked over, grabbed the card and saw it was a photo of him at his moment of having a weak stomach.

The paper burnt up in Vegeta's hands and the two boys' laughter slowed down until they stayed silent as Vegeta glared at them with a twitch.

"I think your dad might be upset about something Trunks." The raven-haired boy whispered to his best friend.

"Just stay calm and make no sudden movements. He can smell fear." Whispered back said boy.

The prince flared out his aura and his hair returned to its normal flame style and grunted, "We will never speak of this. Do you understand?"

Goten and Trunks nodded fearfully and Vegeta turned around, ready to finally end this day.

**Ordering pizza, Saiyan style.**

The room was filled with the noise of ten thousand children, even though there were only about twenty or so (advanced Saiyan hearing has its down sides) all chatting, singing and running.

Vegeta himself was currently near insanity... well, more insanity, and his patience wearing thin with their waiter.

Said teen walked over to the three with a pen and paper in hand, "May I take your order?"

"Four large with extra, extra cheese please!" Trunks and Goten said in unison.

"And for you sir?"

**[BGM (Background music): Vegeta's Hells Bells theme]**

"I, Vegeta, the prince of all Saiyans will have no ordinary meal. I require a base exactly two inches thick and twenty inches in diameter. Ripe, blood red tomato paste spread equally over the base, five layers of cheese consisting of cheddar, mozzarella, feta, gouda and the crusts filled with fresh Swiss cheese. The toppings will consist of three strips of bacon, ten slices of pepperoni and garlic spread over the top. Finally, it will be baked in a wood fired oven for exactly five minutes. If you value your life, you will complete this order to perfection. I will give five minutes, no longer. Do I make myself clear?"

"Per... perfectly sir." With that, the waiter ran to tell his parents he loved them, and Vegeta could no longer stand the ever increasing sound of children.

"Silence!" Was what the Saiyan yelled as he jumped from the booth and assumed his golden form, "Can't you whiny brats keep your mouths closed for one second?"

And that was how the Briefs family was banned from every Super Cheesy Pizza Planet in the state.

**[Stop BGM]**

The following day, Vegeta had finished his reward for giving the boys a fun-filled day (it was most certainly memorable) and moved into the kitchen, looking for something to quench his thirst. The prince found what he was looking for in the form of what looked like a pitcher of lemonade, marked with an A.P. on the side.

Vegeta shrugged at the A.P. and began to drink from the pitcher, a slight taste of salt present.

As the prince chugged down the contents, the voice of Trunks came from upstairs, "Mom! Dad! Have either of you seen me and Goten's science project? It's in a pitcher marked A.P. for animal pee!"

**A/N: I am not evil for doing that! I am just easily amused ;).**


End file.
